


Saying Goodbye

by someb0ys



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Clint Needs a Hug, Crying, Established Relationship, Goodbyes, Hurt/Comfort, In Public, Loki Feels, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 03:43:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someb0ys/pseuds/someb0ys





	Saying Goodbye

Thor tightened his hands on Clint’s shoulders as he felt him start to shake. Clint hasn’t felt this vulnerable since his brother died. “You may decide to go back, Clint.” Thor whispered moving him down the halls to where they were keeping Loki. Clint clenched his hands into fists and stared down the long white hallway wondering when it will end. He didn’t understand why Thor was being so calm; this was his brother that was going to die. Adopted or not, turned or not, they were brothers. Clint wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand and shoved his teammate’s hands off him.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Clint said.

He wasn’t though, he felt his legs start to give and tears kept running down his face. He composed himself and then a few steps later would blink freeing more tears. He hated Thor; he hated him for everything he was okay with. He was a selfish bastard for turning his back on Loki. Family comes first, especially for Clint who was orphaned and mistreated for most of his life. Thor didn’t know what it was like to feel that alone. “He was beaten, I must warn you of that.” Clint stopped walking, feeling like all his breath just left his body

Thor looked at him, hurt clear in his eyes. “It is and was, out of my hands Clint.”

Clint shook his head but didn’t say anything and let him lead him down the hall. He was still the golden son, he was still going to take his father’s place and hope this mishap fades from their peoples memories. Clint stopped again and looked to the ground.

“You don’t have much time Clint.”

Clint was shaking, full of rage. Thor’s hand pressed on his back and Clint lost it. He turned away from him punching through a glass window. Thor stepped back giving him space. “I’m sorry,” Thor whispered. He was so solemn but it didn’t comfort Clint it only fueled his rage more.

Clint walked down to hallway his hand stinging and dripping blood. “Where the fuck are we?” Clint asked. His hand felt nice from the contrast of the rest of his body. He didn’t dare take out any pieces; he didn’t want to fuck with the tendons or start to bleed more. He was already light headed he didn’t need loss of blood on top of it.

“Abandoned hospital,” Thor answered.

Thor stopped at a door and turned to Clint. “Ready?” Thor asked he couldn’t make eye contact with him anymore. It was just another light brown door among a sea of light brown doors. Numbered 227, Clint didn’t know who did that or if this was a dream or just a coincidence.

“Yeah,” Clint breathed he couldn’t touch the door, if he did it meant he was accepting this as his fate. He felt like he was going to throw up or pass out but his hand was numbing him a little. Clint’s imagination made it out to be horrible; crippled, covered in bruises and dried blood. He felt like someone was squeezing his heart.

He bit his lip tasting blood as Thor opened the door. He couldn’t look up but he walked in and Thor followed. “Raise your eyes.” Loki whispered.

Clint did but seeing Loki standing there in perfect form minus a few wounds made his legs go limp; Loki grabbed him pulling him against his chest. “Shhhhh,” Loki cooed looking back at Thor who was crying silent tears. The room was filled with guards but it didn’t matter. “Agent Barton,” Loki kissed his head. Loki lowered them to ground and let him go.

Clint looked up at him feeling like a knife jabbed into his stomach. “Hi,” he whispered and smiled through his tears.

Loki smiled back, both of their hearts breaking. “I am sorry I dragged into this.” He said and leaned in and kissed his cheek.

Clint was staring at him and he couldn’t stop, he needed to remember what he looked like. Clint studied Loki’s body hundreds hours but he needed to make sure. “I’m sorry sir.” He laughed feeling like his mind was gone. The room’s tension was thick and made it hard to breathe.

Loki grabbed his bloody hand’s wrist. “A very dangerous move for an archer,” Loki whispered and leaned in kissing Clint’s trembling lips. “You’ll be fine, you might even come to hate me someday, my memory at least.”

Clint fell, crying in Loki’s lap. He felt like he was going to hyperventilate. “We don’t get privacy do we Thor?” Loki asked running his fingers through Clint’s hair.

“No Loki,” Thor said.

Clint didn’t care he just didn’t want to be without him. “Please, please don’t leave me.” Clint sobbed. Too many people left him and he never got to say goodbye like this. He always was angry at the universe for not letting him say goodbye to his mother. He refused this was the end, now given the chance to say goodbye.

Loki leaned down kissing his temple. “I’ll haunt you, don’t worry.” Loki chuckled and Clint hugged him tighter. He felt himself shaking again but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered.

“If you don’t I’ll be pissed you fucker.” Clint growled.

“Modesty Barton, I’ll try my best if it helps.” Loki rested his lips on Clint’s cheek tasting his salty tears. Loki was in awe that Clint still cared about him this much. He knew that Clint’s affection couldn’t all be the mind control but it was painful to see Clint like this.

“Don’t leave, don’t leave, don’t leave, don’t leave.” Clint said through thick tears. Loki sighed and pulled him up and wiped his face with his sleeve. “Boss you can’t give up like this.” He was tried to find any reason Loki sturdy looking face.

Loki was already gone, he didn’t mind dying anymore. He just felt bad for Clint and wanted him to know it’ll be alright. “I did, it was easier when given their bargain, agent Barton.” He kissed Clint’s lips. “Don’t be concerned for me, you’ll find someone Clint.”

Clint shook his head. “Nope you’re it. I’m done with people after you.” He kissed his lips running both hands through Loki’s raven hair, pulling him closer. Loki’s shoulder and hairs was streaked with Clint’s blood. Clint dropped the kiss rocking against his chest crying.

Loki looked over at Thor.

“Yes?” Thor asked.

“Can you turn around, am I allowed to have that much?” Loki asked. Clint wrapped his arms around his neck and leaned into him not caring about who was around them. Loki rubbed his back waiting for Thor to compose himself enough to speak.

“No, I can’t. Physical contact between you two is pushing it as it stands.” Thor dropped his gaze.

Loki hugged him tighter. “You need someone Clint.” He whispered.

“No, fuck you, boss. I needed you. I need you.” Clint whimpered and kissed his neck breathing in his scent. He didn’t want anyone else, it wouldn’t be the same. No one would understand. No one ever did until Loki, to feel so alone and yet surrounded. Loki forced him into the relationship but Clint grew attached and then in love with him. Loki was just like Clint, he threw himself into work, growing skills instead of memories. They were both lied to for years and don’t trust anymore. Neither of them knew they’d fall in in love but they did and now Loki regretted pulling him into it.

“As you’ve said in your poetic way before, ‘shit happens’.” Loki whispered rubbing his back. Loki held him close his eyes still jumping up to the guards. ”Thor, I’m your bother, I’m about to die. Give me this, turn around.”

Thor looked down, he couldn’t speak, and he couldn’t tell him that he couldn’t give them more privacy.

Clint sucked on his neck to leave a mark, making Loki roll his eyes. “I want the scars on your hand to remind you of me.” Loki muttered. Clint nodded against his neck. “Puppet, don’t feel bad. You’ll start to feel again.”

Clint clung to him tighter. “Fuck you,” He hated himself for getting this attached, of course he wouldn’t be able to stay with him. His life was supposed to be nothing but torture he knew that since the day he realized his father was a bastard. Loki didn’t hide it though, the fact that he was angry at the world. He didn’t put up shields or try to get people to like him for something he wasn’t. Clint liked that, not being lied to; he could trust the anger because it was real.

Loki smiled. “I love you too Barton.”

“Time Loki,” Thor said.

“Fuck you Thor! I swear I’m going to kill you if you try to pull me off him.” Clint bit Loki’s neck to keep his teeth from chattering. Loki hugged him tighter.

“I’ll miss you Barton,” Loki kissed his cheek. Loki looked over at Thor asking for a little bit more time but Thor shook his head and wiped his eyes again.

Clint hugged him tighter. The room was silent besides Loki’s soft breaths and Clint’s crying. The guards weren’t there, the little window that lit the room wasn’t there, and white walls and floors faded into background. Nothing really existed anymore except these feelings. “Don’t go,” he breathed.

“I must, come on. Stand up.” Loki said and kissed his wet cheek. “I’ll be with you in spirit.”

“I can’t.”

“You can, I order you to.”

“Bastard, the brain wash is off.” Clint wanted to look into his eyes but he didn’t dare pull away from him. He couldn’t break the contact.

“I know but you will.” Loki began to stand up still Clint clung to him, the glass in his hand starting to burn. Loki dragged Clint up as he stood. “I love you Clint.”

“I love you too Loki, don’t go.” He was trying to get a rise out of him by calling him by his first name, fucking with him enough to piss him off. Clint was just trying to get some reality back into the room. This was too close to a dream and it hurt. Clint wanted it to be sturdy if it was real. He wanted to be able to grasp this and be able to say what he wanted to if it was actually happening.

“I must.”

Thor stepped forward and Clint lunged at him but Loki pulled him back. “Leave Thor alone, he loves me…and you.”

“He’s a traitor, you’re family!” Clint screamed. Thor dropped his eyes. “You son of a bitch you don’t fucking leave family!” Clint was ready to tear each limb off his body.

Loki closed his eyes holding Clint to his chest. “Leave him alone Clint. I mean it.”

“I’m going to kill you for this Thor! This is your brother and you are letting him die you fucking piece of shit.” He wasn’t yelling at Thor, he was yelling at himself for Barney but it didn’t matter. Thor’s face was still stone as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Loki turned him around and Clint started sobbing against his chest. Loki ran his fingers through his hair. “Don’t leave me.” Clint whimpered.

“I need to, let go Barton.” Loki cared for Thor’s feeling but it was unimportant giving Clint was falling apart. He forced a warm smile and pulled Clint’s chin up to look at his red tear streaked face.

“No.” Clint murmured.

“Let go Clint, I need to go. Kiss me.” Clint leaned up and kissed him deep and long. Loki closed his eyes and moaned into it, pressing him closer. He savored it; this is what he’d think of the moment he died, this kiss.

“Loki, please,” Thor said.

Clint clung to him and kissed him rougher, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Thor took a step closer and Clint tried to lunge at him again but Loki kept him close. “Shh, come now, you have him to thank for this meeting. Clint I need you to go to a hospital, fix your hand and go see your team mates.” Clint stared at Thor taking steps closer, Clint was snarling and shaking.

“Fuck you Thor, fuck you.”

“Loki now,” Thor said.

Loki forced a smile and kissed Clint’s cheek. “I love you Clint, more than you will ever know. I’ll try to haunt you if I can.” He chuckled but kept that as a promise, he wanted to haunt him if he could. He wanted to keep him under his watch, make sure he was okay.

Clint kissed his lips. “I l-love you too, you’ll be okay. I’ll b-be okay. D-d-don’t worry about me, I’ve dealt with t-this a lot. Thank you for keeping me.”

Loki nodded. “Thank you for forgiving me agent Barton. Goodbye.” Loki’s arms dropped from Clint and he kissed his lips and smiled, tears rolling down from his calm face. He looked towards Thor ready to leave, feeling thankful of this meeting.

“Loki!”

Loki turned back to him.

“You better watch out for me. I’ll need you.”

Loki smiled and nodded. “I will.”

Thor grabbed Loki’s shoulders and helped him out of the room. The guards left with them, surrounding them in a tight circle as they walked down the halls. Loki felt a strange serenity he didn’t expect.

Loki looked at his brother. “Don’t be mad at him, he’s struggling.”

“I’m struggling.” Thor murmured.

Loki looked at the ground as they walked crying but still wore a smile. “I’m not sorry for this Thor, I am sorry for hurting you.” He didn’t regret this; it was thrilling and suited him.

Thor sighed wiping his face while the other hand stayed on his hammer that was fastened to his belt. “I never would have pictured him that upset.”

Loki shrugged. “You don’t know what we had.”

And it was as simple as that. No one knew that they had. They recovered and restored together, Clint finding normality and life again while Loki was struggling with insanity. But both of them met in the middle to make passionate love and comfort each other. It was insane and both of them came from different worlds struggling with the same emotion and pent up rage but it worked and it was love.


End file.
